There are very few things drier than a course on the Laws of Association Football.  It ought to be interesting but........it isn't.  Do we really care that the minimum distance from the outside of a post to a touchline is 41 yards, 2 feet 9.5 inches?  Does it really matter that you can't score an own goal from a corner kick.  Can you ever make use of such information?  No!  So people really only go on them if they have to.

Two such persons were the intrepid duo from Stables Cottage, Matt Harvey and Mark Elliot.  As the two halves of the third's Management team, they felt obliged to take up the opportunity presented by two spare places going begging on a Club Referee's course run at the request of Southside FC.  This was not the full course to pump out new men in black, you understand, which lasts two months and can get seriously dull, but the shortened version, done and dusted in one evening, for the benefit of those poor gits who might be called upon to take up the whistle should the Cheltenham League find itself unable to appoint a properly registered referee to one of our matches.

For a while now, the club has had a serious dearth of suitable candidates for the task of making sure games get played when no one else can be bothered to referee them.  In essence, the contingency list for such occasions has had just one name on it for as long as most people can remember.  Which is why Matt & Mark dragged themselves off to the class room to get their certificate.  The third team is the most likely to be affected by the shortage of referees, so it makes sense for the third team management to have some idea of the requirements of whistle blowing.

But they were not alone.  There, in the class room, lurking in the back ground, hoping he wouldn't be spotted, only there because his kids play for Southside and with no intention of ever letting it slip, to anyone else at the club, was another Star FC member.  Someone who has played for the club for almost 10 years, who has been there through thick and thin but who was absolutely horrified to see that the club's Secretary and Vice Chairman had turned up when he hoped that no one would ever know that he was now as qualified as he needs to be to referee on Saturday afternoons.

Naturally, he requested that we didn't tell anyone else about his newly obtained qualification, although he was quick to point out that RICH GILL should have been on the course and that, although he had to pull out at the last minute, Rich would be doing the course in the near future.  Equally naturally, we are happy to oblige his request for anonymity and will do our utmost to make sure that no one ever knows that Jon Carpenter is now a fully certified, Club Referee who can be called upon whenever the club is in need.

His secret is safe with us!