The penalty spot went AWOL at a recent Reserve team match and only a quick bit of DIY with a pot of emulsion, a 2” brush and a 15’ tape measure saved the day.

To be honest, worrying about the penalty mark wasn’t at the forefronts of the minds of those hardy souls (the Chairman and Secretary) who, in the middle of the January monsoon, found that they had been volunteered, by default, to inspect the pitch prior to the Reserve Team’s Senior Charity Cup tie with FC Barometrics.  It hadn’t even become a priority as they had trudged through the various under-6 matches that were taking place at the same time closer to the changing rooms, as the main concern was the fact that it was as wet as f**k and Cleeve Colts under 16’s were holding a full scale training session on the pitch.  Undeterred, the intrepid duo walked out onto the pitch to inspect it and found that, save for that part that was busy being cut up by mis-guided adolescents, it was in great shape, but, even so, the fact that the penalty mark at the houses end was so close to the goal that even Clarkey might score from the spot, stood out a mile.  This lead to an acceptable opportunity to wander into the other penalty area, during teenage shooting practice, to ensure that the other end was ok and, in the fullness of time, to the Club Chairman daubing a spot 12 yards from the goal at the affected end, so it conformed with the Laws of the game, having already scratched out the erroneous mark, which was only 10 yards from goal (that is about 9.15 metres for those of you without the benefit of an imperial education) and which did not.

All this brought significant bewilderment to the watching throng of egg chasers as they prepared for a game of hand ball and further convinced them that they had long since made the right move in deciding to follow the cheating ways of William Webb Ellis.  How wrong can they be!