Surely, by now, every one will have heard at least one version of the wonder goal that Dan Robinson scored against Dowty Dynamos on Saturday, 8^th November. The excitement that it generated was transmitted around Bishops Cleeve Playing Fields even before the match had finished, so electrifying was the manner in which Dan gave the Reserve team the lead on their way to a 5-0 win. Indeed, although 4 more goals followed, it is a testament to the startling quality of the goal that broke the duck in the 6^th minute that its effect remained undiminished. "Have you heard about Dan Robinson’s goal" was the only greeting used by club mates as they met up following the afternoon’s endeavours, or telephoned each other to make a re-acquaintance. Even more amazingly, the answer to this question, even from people who had not been within 5 miles of the ground all afternoon, was nearly always "Yes"!!

So what really happened? Were the tales that emanated from the middle pitch at Cheltenham Road that fateful day really the stuff of legend or were they rather more mythological, deserving of little more credence than the latest example of a Chris Clarke tap-in becoming,  by the time "The Fox in the Box" himself gets back to the bar, a strike more reminiscent of the one produced by the then 21 year-old David Beckham at Crystal Palace in 1996? We can only wonder why the Reserve Team manager has not submitted a match report for this latest victory, a circumstance in which we are left to ponder the possibility that it may be because of a fit of pique generated by the attention devoted to the game’s opening goal rather than to the brace that he produced himself to make certain of the points. Or was the goal just not that good after all?

Well, following extensive research, "ASIB on the WEB" can now report the definitive version of THAT goal!! It has been said that Dan was 90 yards from the opposition’s posts when he started his run. You can now be assured that he was, in fact, two miles away when he first identified the opening which he was to exploit so expertly. Starting his run at this distance made sure that, once he was just 90 yards from Dowty Dynamos line, he broke through the sound barrier and caused a sonic boom which shredded the visitor’s defensive line and left them wide open to a quick counter attack. Further reports suggest that it was soon after this point that Dan played a quick one-two with Jamie Roberts and those who have chosen to doubt the validity of the various descriptions of Dan’s wonder strike have pointed to this assertion as a fatal flaw in the claims made, for a variety of significant reasons. We have now discovered that Dan did choose to lay the ball off at this point but that it was returned to him almost immediately by the very sonic boom that had left the opposition with no meaningful defence. The return of the sound waves as they rebounded from Cleeve Hill not only pushed the ball straight back into Dan’s path but, also, accelerated his velocity to the point at which he confounded Einstein’s theories and actually exceeded the speed of light. The referee noticed this and was on the point of cautioning Dan for ungentlemanly conduct but realised that he would look pretty stupid trying to brandish a yellow card at someone he could no longer see, so he waved play on. Now travelling at a speed in excess of 196,000 miles a second, Dan managed to reach the opposition’s penalty area even before Scott Saurin but still had a difficult decision to make! In the fragment of a second that was available to him before he found himself in Australia, Dan had to decide whether or not to shoot or pass the ball inside, stranding the ‘keeper and leaving team-mate Saurin with a simple tap-in. Utilising all the time he had available to him, he weighed up the likely success of each scenario, and smacked the ball into the bottom corner. This was one occasion when, quite literally, the ‘keeper just did not see a thing.

So, after such a wonder strike, what did the man himself have to say about his effort. Quiet, unassuming and supremely modest, Dan merely revealed that the whole experience had left him knackered. "It took me the rest of the half to get back down our end" he revealed exclusively to ASIB on the WEB!!!!

Now that is something that we can definitely believe!